Journal Entry: My Life Between 2012–2013

    This phase of my life was a whirlwind—blurry, raw, and filled with lessons I didn’t yet know I was learning. Through it all, I was lucky to have Linda in my corner. She was more than a friend—she was a quiet force of grace, always trying to advocate for me, even speaking with my dad during a time when I couldn’t quite find my own voice. Our lunches at Tropical Smoothie were a small comfort, and her son Jimmy was one of my early relationships here in Virginia Beach.

    While I stayed out of legal trouble during this time, I didn’t stop drinking after my DWI. I thought I could be more responsible—control the time and place—but the truth is, I was still trying to numb myself. I was working at Homewood Suites until September 2013, and I’ll never forget being nominated during National Travel and Tourism Week. That meant something to me.

    I later transitioned to SpringHill Suites to become a Night Auditor. I wanted more experience because I knew hospitality was where I wanted to build my career. I was still in school at the University of Phoenix, but I often skipped class to go drink at PF Chang's with friends. I was searching for something—love, escape, acceptance—sometimes in a glass, sometimes in someone else.

    I chased love recklessly. And no, it wasn’t always about intimacy—it was about needing to feel needed. I gave away too much of myself. I bought things, signed phone plans, drove the miles, paid the bills, and waited by hospital beds for people who never gave back what I gave them. I see now that it came from a lack of self-love and confidence. Even when those close to me, like Kara, tried to pull me back, I couldn’t hear them. I had to fall my own way, break in my own way—and learn in my own way.

    But I didn’t stop there. This story is still being written.

Margaritas and Bud light were my
drink of choice.  


Meredith and I at a bar after my friend 
Valerie wedding.


Myself at a bar watching my friend Jeremy play 
live music. 


My friend Meredith and I. 








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