Anchor in the Chaos

     The year of 2013 into 2014 was yet another chapter of chaos in my life—though I didn’t know it then, change was on the horizon.      I stayed on a destructive path: drinking too much, staying out too late with friends, and constantly searching for love in all the wrong places. I was still living with Kara—who was like a mother to me—trying to be somewhat responsible by paying rent, keeping up with bills (to an extent), completing online college courses, and working full-time. But none of that ever stopped me from drinking.      After attending a friend’s wedding, I had a moment of reckoning. I looked in the mirror and saw someone I didn’t recognize or want to be. I was miserable. I was gaining weight from the drinking. And deep down, I knew I needed a change.      After a heartfelt conversation with Kara, we agreed it was time for me to move on. I ended up relocating to Wilmington, NC, with her then-husband, Bill, in hope...

     This phase of my life was a whirlwind—blurry, raw, and filled with lessons I didn’t yet know I was learning. Through it all, I was lucky to have Linda in my corner. She was more than a friend—she was a quiet force of grace, always trying to advocate for me, even speaking with my dad during a time when I couldn’t quite find my own voice. Our lunches at Tropical Smoothie were a small comfort, and her son Jimmy was one of my early relationships here in Virginia Beach.      While I stayed out of legal trouble during this time, I didn’t stop drinking after my DWI. I thought I could be more responsible—control the time and place—but the truth is, I was still trying to numb myself. I was working at Homewood Suites until September 2013, and I’ll never forget being nominated during National Travel and Tourism Week. That meant something to me.      I later transitioned to SpringHill Suites to become a Night Auditor. I wanted more experience becaus...

    From the outside, my life between 2010 and 2012 probably looked like a wild, carefree young adult figuring things out. But the truth is, it was a blur—one I thought at the time was me "living my best life." Looking back now, it was anything but that.      In April 2010, I lost my Nana to cancer. That was the beginning of the unraveling. She and my Granddaddy were the foundation of our family—our traditions, our love, our togetherness. Her death left a hole, not just in me but especially in my Aunt Sharon. They were best friends, and losing Nana shattered something in all of us.      I was drifting—moving in and out of my dad and stepmom’s house depending on whatever reason I was given. “You woke your dad up with your footsteps,” or “If you say you’ll be home at 10, be home at 10.” “His house, his rules.” It wasn’t a home—it was a place I passed through. Deep down, I know I was craving love and comfort, things I felt like I missed out on d...