A Story of Resilience: My Journey Through Abandonment, Family, and Growth

As a little girl, I was abandoned at the age of three by my biological mother, who struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol. I remember vividly the chaos surrounding my parents—my father desperately trying to help my mother through rehab while my aunt flew into San Diego to take my brother and me back to Florida. My parents were in turmoil, trying to determine the next steps for their marriage and our family. Ultimately, it ended in divorce, and in that separation, I also lost the relationship with my half-siblings, Brandi and Bradley.

The abandonment I felt was profound. So much so that, even though my father was innocent in all of this, I became fearful of losing him too. I would watch his every move, terrified he would leave me the same way my mother had. He even had to take his shoes off at the door because I associated shoes with leaving. A heartbreaking reality for a child to live in.

After a short two years, my father remarried my stepmother, who raised me until adulthood. Their marriage, however, was far from perfect. She had a daughter, which meant our blended family now included my brother Paul, my stepsister Katy, and me. Paul and Katy were close in age, which often left me feeling like the outsider—the forgotten one.

Being a military family meant frequent moves, primarily between California and Florida. In 1997, we found ourselves back in California, and that was when my younger brother, Tyler, was born. His arrival came with complications—he turned blue at birth and required emergency surgery. Over the years, he endured four open-heart surgeries, making him nothing short of a miracle. Despite his struggles, Tyler and I became the closest among the siblings. He also suffered from seizures as a child, which was frightening, but thankfully, he outgrew them.

High school was another challenge. I attended three different schools due to my father's military career, constantly having to adjust to new environments. Despite the struggles, I found solace in swimming, competing on the team during my freshman, junior, and senior years. During my junior year, while living in Pickerington, Ohio, I learned that my half-brother Bradley had passed away from bone cancer. My father gave Paul and me the option to attend the funeral in Maryland, which we accepted. It was there, for the first time since childhood, that I reunited with my mother, my sister Brandi, and the extended family on my mother's side. The emotions were overwhelming—a mixture of pain, nostalgia, and unanswered questions.

After the funeral, life moved on. I don't recall whether my mother stayed in contact, but if she did, it was sporadic at best. That inconsistency no longer fazed me—I had grown used to it.

As if my journey hadn’t been challenging enough, another major setback awaited me. Despite passing all my classes, I was informed that I wouldn’t be allowed to graduate high school because I hadn’t passed Ohio’s state test, the OGT. Due to my military upbringing, I had already taken three different state exams in three different states, making it nearly impossible to meet the requirements. My father was furious, knowing the hurdles I had faced. In the end, I had to settle for earning a GED, never getting the chance to walk with my classmates.

Through every trial, abandonment, move, and loss, I learned that resilience isn’t something we’re born with—it’s something life teaches us through experience. My journey has been far from easy, but every chapter has shaped me into the person I am today. And for that, I am grateful.